Taking the Scenic Route

Instant gratification has become the way of the world—particularly, the way of our world. Don’t get me wrong I don’t think anyone has ever been excited to be patient (…if that’s even possible), but there is something to be said for putting in the work and embracing the journey. Plus, if we are being totally honest, anything worth having is worth the work that goes into it, as I hear my momma’s voice saying, “You get what you pay for.”

You do get what you pay for.

I’ll give you an example.

During the first year of my undergrad, I was raped. I had no clue how to move forward after the assault. I didn’t know how to talk about it, I didn’t know how to process it, and I didn’t know how to heal from it, and it showed. I was struggling with feelings of shame, guilt, and unworthiness. I remember being consumed with confusion because I couldn’t determine if I was validated because some “wanted” me, or ashamed because I wasn’t worth loosing my virginity in a special or romantic way.

Photo by Aaryn Muhammad of ARYxGOLD FRAMES PHOTOGRAPHY

I went into survival mode and learned to cope with drugs, clothes, attention, and whatever else temporarily validated my insecurities. If I’m being real, I was so far gone it felt like the coping worked. I was living under the false pretense of happiness and fulfillment, and because no one was threatening my illusions of splendor, I invested in emptiness. Did you read that? I said because I lied to myself so much, for so long to cover up my pain, I built myself, my livelihood on an empty foundation. And I had no choice but to start over.

The part that stabs at my heart is I believed the copping worked, but it didn’t. It covered up adequately, but it didn’t work for personal growth and the healing process. I truly thought I had overcome my insecurities and hit a heavenly self-love plateau. In my illusion I was perfect, but behind the false lashes I was so far from fulfilled.

Photo by Aaryn Muhammad of ARYxGOLD FRAMES PHOTOGRAPHY

So many time we find ourselves doing things that make us feel good after trauma, and that’s cool but it’s important to remember to do things that are uncomfortable so we don’t end up living in toxicity.

I’ll be honest, these days I’m still working toward healing the right way. I’m still building the habit of wildly and unapologetically loving myself. I’m still growing into fulfillment, and that’s okay! Don’t get me wrong, it’s taking foreverrr, and the process is a messy one, but this time I want to intentionally invest in my best self. I needs that ROI, okay?! So, the ancestors and I are buckled in for the journey—we’re trusting the process in full and taking the scenic route.

EZ Nail Lifter Lady: Darlene Willis

It’s the nail removal process for me, yall.

This pandemic had my nails looking sad, sorry, and all out of sorts—and I know I’m not alone.

In addition to nail salons shutting down, technicians are booked up weeks in advance, and there is little sign of an end in sight. While I realize this certainly isn’t the worst problem or even a big deal in the grand scheme of things, the uncertainty of future nail appointments has left me scrambling to find affordable, between-appointment solutions to keep my nails looking good.

I’ve taken to the habit of getting a full set each appointment so each set lasts a little longer, but that brings us back to the nail removal.

Whew chile.

I’m either ripping apart my nails bed, or taking time I don’t have to soak them off while simultaneously drying my nails out from all the acetone.

Well, I’d like to introduce you all to Mrs. Darlene Willis, or as I like to call her, the EZ Nail Lifter Lady, and like many other lady entrepreneurs, an answer to our (broken-nail) tragedies.

I had the opportunity to pick Mrs. Willis’s brain and get the skinny on her new invention, EZ Nail Lifter, a beauty tool used to separate and lift the false nail from your natural nail in a quick, easy, and painless way. Check out the Q&A below.

Who is Darlene Willis?

A Universal Child of the MOST HIGH with intensive training in Customer Care and Human Relations skills.

What do you do?

For over 35 years I was an Administrative Assistant until 2016 I had to take a medical leave do to carpal tunnel and Rheumatoid Arthritis. That lead me to developing the E-ZNAILLIFTER and my company TRY Product, a product development company.

How did you start?

In 1997 I started wearing artificial nails and did not like the removal process. Acetone makes my eyes tear profusely, and my throat gets scratchy due to an allergy. Plus my fingertips would be dried out for days. I knew there was a better way to remove them, so I went all over Michigan looking for something to take them off without soaking and could not find anything. So, I created a handy tool that would remove the acrylic nails and made it look like a tool a manicure set.

What has your journey entailed thus far?

A lot of INTERNAL FORTITUDE and learn as you go. Sometimes it feels like I’m in over my head to even want to launch a product without knowing where to start or having the finances to develop it properly. I work as an Administrative Assistant and saved to get a patent. I found a manufacture company to make me a prototype. I saved to get them made and test on the market. I’m building a brand with the goal of becoming a household name product.

How do you know you’re (not) within your purpose.

I look at life differently. My purpose in life is not to be the problem, but a solution and the best person I can be. If my mission is simply to be a solution, then any project The Most High allows me to take on is my purpose.

What is my magic —-the one thing you need no outside validation on?

I know I am a child of THE MOST HIGH. The Spirit gives me the will to manifest anything I put my mind to, the only thing it never said is it would be easy.

Biggest life lesson thus far?

Never think someone will see your vision. I realize God gave the vision to me and they just might have not arrived to it mentally.

You can learn more about E-Z Nail Lifter, and get your own at www.e-znaillifter.com —tell them Ari sent you, and tell your nails I said you’re welcome.

Edge Naturale’s Follicle Enhancer Cream is just What my Hair Needed!

Okay, yall. I’ve got some good stuff to talk about today.

I recently had the opportunity to learn about a new beauty brand called Edge Naturale, which is an all-natural hair care brand that uses fresh ingredients to strengthen and nourish natural hair. I was able to get my hands on their magical Follicle Enhancer cream and share the results with you all in my latest youtube video.

I really like this cream. In a short 6 weeks, I notice it left my baby hairs looking long and lustrous, as well as soft and full. It also helped keep my box braids protected and intact.

Learn about my entire experience by visiting the All Things Ari YouTube channel—and while you’re there, be sure to like and share the video, and subscribe to the channel.

You can grab your own container of the Edge Naturale Follicle Enhancer on their website. Be sure to tell them Ari sent you!

Meet Rayne Stewart: Vitiligo Warrior

I want to be like Rayne Stewart when I grow up. Rayne is one of the many Americans suffering from Vitiligo, a non-curable condition causing discoloration and the loss of pigment in skin cells. Vitiligo affects nearly 50 million humans worldwide, and as many as 5 million citizens of the United States. It can be associated with other side effects such as psychological stress and hair discoloration.

Rayne was only 8 years old when she was diagnosed. In addition to the stress of the loss of her favorite aunt to ALS, and grandfather to cancer, Rayne suffered emotionally with fears and feelings of inadequacy, and being bullied in school. After moving to Loch Raven, Baltimore, Maryland at the start of 7th grade, and with the help of a close family friend, Rayne decided she was done trying to fit into the mold, and began embracing her Vitiligo. “I started looking at it as something that makes me unique,” she said.

Now only 14 years young, Rayne is a vitiligo warrior and using her voice to change the way children (and adults) who suffer from the condition view themselves. “I don’t mind the questions, and I understand the stares, because I know being different is not a bad thing,” she explained. Rayne has graced numerous schools, conventions, panels and communities with her rendition of self-acceptance. She even went on to write a children’s book called, Perfectly Different, which explains Rayne’s journey with vitiligo.

Rayne realized she wanted to write a book after seeing her cousin release a book series a few years ago. It took her 1 year but she wrote it, in it’s entirety, by herself; and, has sold over 300 books so far! Rayne admits she still suffers from body acceptance in some ways, but overall is thrilled with the progress she’s made and feedback she gets from people, especially children, who have read the book.

With current dreams of Broadway stardom, and one day meeting Ellen, Rayne continues to use her voice to empower others. The ninth grader is even considering a new book about transitioning from middle school to high school. Rayne’s story is different, and her influence is powerful. Her courage to share her story at such a young age is it only selfless, but also empowering. Because of this young queen, more people are learning to love the beauty in being perfectly different. Ya girl is HERE.FOR.IT!

Learn more about Rayne Stewart, and grab a shirt like mine by visiting her website www.perfectlydifferent.net/ and her Instagram.

Reves et Cauchemar: A Fashion Production

Fashion shows don’t happen often in Pittsburgh, especially black fashion shows, especially black fashion shows with French names. It’s just not Pittsburgh’s “thing,” if you will. However, last Saturday was the premiere of Reves et Cauchemar, or for the sake of this blogger and the French language, Dreams and Nightmares: A Fashion Production. Jeremey Johnson of JKansepts and Reesha Jackson of RLJDesigns teamed up to bring what I would describe as, the show that could take the city form Pittsburgh, home of the Stillers, to Pittsburgh, that city with the New York mixed with Atlanta, vibe.

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Producers Jeremy Johnson and Reesha Jackson

“My goal was providing a platform for guests to experience a fusion of art and fashion,” says Reesha. “I wanted this to be more than just a  show, but an experience including shopping, a live artist, and networking opportunities.”

That’s exactly what the duo produced, an experience. Yes, it was that real. No, I’m not exaggerating. The show consisted of 2 runways, sold out VIP and standing room, a red carpet, an in house pop up shop called the Fashion Village, and 8 incredible designers. Among the showcased designers were Destination Royalty, Zaughn Collection, Ooh Baby, Groov Gang, Shop Sittoy, E Adonis, Cherish by Cherie, and of course, JKancepts opened and closed the show. Not only was the show itself amazing, but with the incorporated ballet dancing, flute performance, dancing, live art painting, and nods to Jordan Peele’s US, it truly lived up to its name as fashion production.

Now, I know folks are here for the photos, so let’s just get to it, shall we?

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JKancepts by Jeremy Johnson

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Destination: Royalty by Asia Monique

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Zaughn Collection

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Ooh Baby

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Groov Gang

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Shop Sittoy

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E Adonis

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Cherish by Cherie

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JKancepts

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Ari wearing a deep V, high double slit, yellow print romper from Kingz & Queenz Boutique

I thoroughly enjoyed the show and can’t wait to see how Pittsburgh continues to incorporate more cultural events amid the clash of our traditional steel. I would like to see more plus options in the future, but some the designs that were showcased in straight sizes are also available in plus, so I appreciate that. I got my romper and necklace from Kingz & Queenz Boutique. My shoes are from Ashley Stewart.

Cat Burton: Keeping Culture in Pittsburgh

Catharyn Burton is a Pittsburgh treasure. Her knack for creative expression and director skills combined with her perspective of the industry as a woman of color, makes for a series of truly unique experiences from fashion shows to photo exhibits. Catharyn, or Cat as she prefers, uses her talents to curate, recruit for, and direct creative projects that go against the grain in an industry that thrives on being in trend.

Originally from Erie, PA she made her way to Pittsburgh after acquiring a degree in integrated marketing from Slippery Rock University. While at SRU, Cat was involved with many of the multicultural organizations, and helped them create a variety of successful events.

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Reclaimed Roles: The Matrix photographed by Joe Lowrey

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As a model and WOC, she’s experienced first hand the lack of diversity in the industry and how it’s affected her career. “My biggest struggle has been hair stylists not knowing how to “handle” my hair. I have gone to multiple sets for either print or runway where a majority of the models are assigned to get their hair done and the stylist is told to just leave mine as is.”

Experiences like these prompted Cat to create space to highlight concepts and ideas from other creatives whose perspectives are often overlooked.

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Reclaimed Roles: A Christmas Carol photographed by Joe Lowrey

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Styled by Example and Reclaimed Roles

Cat’s most recent projects are a fashion show which debuted back in March called Styled by Example, and a photo exhibit collaborated with several creatives in Pittsburgh, including MUA Martayla (@martymoment), stylist Alia (@aliassemakula), and photographer Joe Lowrey (@joelowreyphoto), called Reclaimed Roles.

“Styled by Example was created to celebrate Women’s History Month. I originally created it as an event at Slippery Rock University and wanted to showcase it to a larger audience,” Cat explains. The show highlighted women’s fashion trends from the 1920’s through today and each decade had its own stylist. Each stylist was able to curate their section, by choosing the music represented from their specified decade and creating a title for their section. Cat says she has already started planning for a bigger and better 2020 show as she hopes to, “progress Styled by Example into a brand that develops creative concepts and events.”

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Reclaimed Roles: Kill Bill (left) and The Sound of Music (right) photographed by Joe Lowrey

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Reclaimed Roles is Cat’s most recent project and is a series of photos recreated from popular movies with one key difference.

“I had originally reached out to Joe about doing a shoot recreating Alice in Wonderland at Randyland,” Cat explains. “That being the original shoot concept, I chose to work with a group of models that I already knew, and all were women of color. From the success of that shoot Joe and I decided to start doing more shoots recreating movie concepts with minorities portraying the traditionally white roles.”

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Reclaimed Roles: The Blues Brothers photographed by Joe Lowrey

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The goal of the exhibit was to highlight the lack of minority representation in the media industry. Aside from the already mentioned, Cat and Joe recreated scenes from A Christmas Carol, Kill Bill, The Matrix, The Sound of Music, and The Blues Brothers. The inspiration for the movies they chose came from movies Cat grew up on.

All in all, Cat is shaking up the industry with no intent to stop. She wants to change the narrative of the industry to be more inclusive all around. “I would love to get to a point where models with natural hair can walk on to any set and stylists have the knowledge and comfort level to just do their hair.” Her advice to others with the same mission is to collaborate. “Don’t be afraid to reach out to people in order to collaborate. There are a lot more people out their willing to help each other grow than I think people realize.”

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Reclaimed Roles: Alice in Wonderland photographed by Joe Lowrey

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You can learn more about Cat Burton and Styled by Example by following on social media at @cat_burton and @styledbyexample.

Loving Your Reflection: Loving the Skin You’re in Fashion Show

Loving Your Reflection is a performance agency that hosts several body positive shows and events throughout Pittsburgh. This year, founder of Loving Your Reflection, Danielle Jackson Thorn, hosted an impeccable fashion show and performance called Loving the Skin You’re In, and it was filled with body love, shameless sexual expression, and the triumph that comes with finally loving and accepting the skin you’re in.

Facebook: Loving Your Reflection
Instagram: @loving_your_reflection

“The mission of Loving Your Reflection is to create a safe space for individuals to explore the relationships they have with their bodies and encourage them to change their inner narrative and learn to love the skin they’re in,” said Danielle. The show consisted of several different acts including performance art, belly dancing, spoken word, and of course, a fashion show. Danielle went on to say, “This event was necessary to bring together communities that may not have the chance to work together otherwise and highlight body diversity.” I had the privilege of taking part in this beautiful experience and not only got to meet some of the models and performers, but also got to observe backstage life, and walk in the show for one of my favorite brands, Fat Mermaids.

Above photos: Ari and Danielle rocking Fat Mermaids Tees during the show. Ari’s photo was taken by PJ Sage and Danielle’s was taken by Sarah Rose

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Backstage

The air of a backstage right before and during the show is unlike any other. Yes, there are several performance people frantically running around and trying to contour the shit out of their faces, but more than that it is a community; a likeminded group of individuals, working collectively, and enhancing  the experience of the show and ultimately the perspective of the community. It’s similar to the magic you feel while dancing and singing to your favorite song in the mirror, but this time there’s a bunch of people dancing and singing with you and hyping you up! Honestly, it’s just one of those invigorating environments that will have you feeling anxious, fearless, nervous, brave, and empowered. Of course now I’m obsessed with recreating that atmosphere everywhere I go because it was such a good vibe.

Photo on the right was taken by Sarah Rose

What I wore and who I rocked on the runway

Ok, let’s talk outfit details. For the VIP meet and greet reception, we were required to wear black and change into runway attire once we were backstage before and during the show. I wore a fun and flirty off the shoulder LDB from Forever 21+. I paired it with yellow ruffle 2-inch heels and minimal jewelry.

As mentioned before, I rocked Fat Mermaids on the runway which was literally perfect because if you don’t know, Fat Mermaids is a body positive brand that mixes fashion with magic and it’s owned by a Black woman!  I was so hype to rock their “IDGAF About Your Diet, Susan” shirt. We styled the shirt tied up in the back with black swim bottoms, and a donut (yes, I literally ate a donut on the runway). It worked out beautifully.

Above pictures were taken by PJ Sage

Takeaways

One of the main takeaways from this experience was always keep growing. I know I say that a lot, but that’s because it is an ever evolving process and to be honest, I’m really reminding myself more so than preaching at y’all. Another takeaway I gained is to trust your creativity, and find people that believe in it just as much as you do. As mentioned before, the energy backstage was off the charts, but that’s because everyone was spawning positive vibes due to believing in each other’s individuality (now, imagine if America operated like this!). Finally, I was reminded to stop taking myself so seriously. So many times we get caught up in making sure our ideal image is the one we portray, and we literally miss the moment we are living through. Being in the company of so many beautifully different people encouraged me to harness my me and let her be great; hence, the donut on the runway.

Photo by Sarah Rose

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I had such an amazing time at the show. I would like to send a special thank you to Danielle Jackson Thorn and her team for inviting me to take part in this epic experience and believing in my mission enough to showcase it in this production. I’m so grateful for this space, and look forward to seeing what Loving Your Reflection has in store for the future. I’d also like to thank Fat Mermaids for trusting me to rock their brand and helping facilitate body diversity.

I Have Good Hair: A Commitment to My Crown

The more I dig into myself and connect with my desires the more I realize how important my hair is to me. Not because of any reasons related to vanity or ego, but because of the journey weave (lol) had together and how it links me to my culture.